


everything good about you is now erased

by prepranpo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Multi, there's depictions of kenma being in a previous abusive relationship that no one knows about, there's depictions of kenma's anger issues getting the best of him and he punches the wall, this is a comfort fic with my favorite boys, which is a bad idea bc he does not have the physical strength to punch a wall and not hurt himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 18:59:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13394190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prepranpo/pseuds/prepranpo
Summary: Why was it that Kenma remembered him at the wrong times. Hhe wanted to punch something, the wall- he needed to punch the way, get his anger out. He wasn't like Kuroo or his boyfriends, Akaashi and Tooru, he wasn't strongly built. It was going to hurt. Good. He preferred that it hurt, it meant that he still felt something.





	everything good about you is now erased

Kenma didn't like to think about him, he never told anyone about him, just a brief 'we broke up, please don't mention him ever.' to his mother and left it at that. It made him mad sometimes, like right now.

God how he wanted to punch a wall, he wants to punch anything he can but he's not like Kuroo or his boyfriends, he's not strong. He's weak and he knows it and he hates it. Nothing's changed. He's still weak and he hates it so much.

For the first time in his life, Kenma's face twists into a nasty glare and he clenches his fist. He wants to punch the wall repeatedly until his hand is split open and bleeding and he wants to cry about how much his ex-boyfriend hurt him and how everything he looked up on the internet pointed towards abuse and he hates feeling guilty about it. 

He doesn't even hear his boyfriends come in and have a talk with his mother before he starts punching the wall repeatedly until his skin is bruised over and bleeding badly. It'll have to be bandaged for a while he knows and he knows that his boyfriends will be concerned and in the back of his mind, he knows it's worth it.

He hates feeling like this, he hates the fact that his ex-boyfriend has caused so many issues in his life, he never had anger issues before. He never had trust issues before. Before he could try and punch the wall again, Akaashi and Tooru rushed in, eyes wild with concern that only increased when they saw Kenma, eyes filled with anger they'd never seen before with a bloody hand in front of a bloody wall.

"Kenma!" Akaashi was the first one to react and move into action, pulling him away from the wall and into his embrace.

He struggled, of course he did, he wanted to hurt himself, he deserved it. He supposed feeling pain was better than the numb feeling he got when he thought about his ex-boyfriend.

"Kenma- Kenma- sh. You're okay, it's okay." Akaashi sounded like he was reassuring himself more than Kenma.

"Ken-chan, what's wrong, why would you-" it was baffling to both of them, they had never seen Kenma like this, Kenma was quiet, shy, and untalkative but only opened to people close. He wasn't very affectionate but made sure people knew he loved them, he mainly stayed focused on his video games. They had never seen him so angry before, they had never witnessed him punching the wall before.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." He bit back, trying to pull back, he didn't want them to see him like this, this was his own anger, he needed to deal with this on his own.

"You're not." Akaashi replied, "I'm not... sure what's going on but we will not push you for answers, but I do need to bandage your wounds." Akaashi shared a glance with Oikawa who was watching their boyfriend in concern.

"Yeah, I'll get it, Aka-chan." Oikawa glanced at Kenma in concern one last time before going to get the first aid kit.

"What's wrong Kenma? You know, we cannot help you if you don't tell us." Akaashi wanted to help him, they both did. They loved Kenma more than anything and seeing him hurting like this tore them apart.

Kenma took a deep breath. "It's my own fault really..." He let out, some part of him knew it wasn't but the part of him that deeply cared about people's opinions on him said it was his fault. "I've only dated one other person, his name is Akiro. It was..." He winced just thinking about it before glancing at his game controller, letting his hair fall in front of his face.

"It was bad." Kenma let out, looking up as Oikawa returned and Akaashi guided him to sit down. "It was a full circle of him ignoring me and then threatening suicide if I stopped talking to him and eventually it got so bad that it felt like- like i was obligated to be with him." Kenma let out, resting his head on Oikawa's shoulder, "I still think about him sometimes, about all the damage he caused to me and it made me... really angry... I needed to hurt. I think, it's better to feel pain than to live with the numbing sensation I feel when I think about him." He finished off with a deep sigh. 

"Oh, Ken-chan...." Oikawa had been in bad relationships but never like Kenma's and he felt protective and angry and he wanted to punch that guy. "I'll have Iwa-chan spike a ball into him, just for you!" He joked, trying to cheer him up.

Kenma let out a snorted laugh as he buried his face in Oikawa's shoulder before wincing as the peroxide stung his open wound.

"Sorry, my love." Akaashi apologized kissing the clean and not wounded part of his hand. "I'm almost done."

"Thank you.... I'm sorry for causing so much trouble..." His tone is quiet and back to his normal tone as he rests his head on Oikawa's shoulder.

"You haven't caused us any trouble, we love taking care of your best boy. That guy is a dick for even thinking of hurting you like that, you're a wonderful person and a wonderful gamer and boyfriend and we'd be completely lost without you, you brighten my day so much." Oikawa stares at Kenma with such love and adoration that Kenma is sure he's blushing.

Akaashi pulls away after bandaging his hand and smiles lightly. "He's right, you are the light of our life."

Kenma childishly hold out his pinkies to them with a small grin on his face. "Boyfriends?"

Akaashi grins slightly back at him while Oikawa beams so widely and they lock pinkies with him. "Boyfriends."

They love him so much and Kenma loves them, Kenma can't imagine his life without them and even though Kuroo teases him about it, he is undeniably head over heels in love with them. "I love you." He lets out quietly leaning over to kiss Akaashi before kissing Oikawa.

They're all too happy to kiss back and reply with soft "I love you too"'s.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this vent-ish fic, i love akaoiken, come scream at me on my tumblr (@mlmkenma)!


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